Sex probably isn’t the first thing on your mind right after giving birth. Your body just went through some major shifts, as did your home life.
Bringing a baby into the world is exhausting and taxing, which can diminish sex drive. After the recommended 6 week wait, when is it safe to do the deed?
It turns out, that will greatly depend on you. Some women are ready to jump back in the sack even before the 6-week checkup, sneaking in a little romance before the go-ahead is given. Some women aren’t ready for months beyond that.
There is a lot that goes into the decision. Not only are you a new mommy, but it will also depend on how smoothly your delivery went and how well you heal after. On top of your body snapping back, you have a new baby to tend to. It will depend on your tiredness levels and how much time you have.
While women assume the mommy role instantly, dad is going through a whole different experience. You may want to wait, but it’s very likely he doesn’t. A man didn’t go through the process physically so you both may be on completely separate levels on the subject.
According to sexologist Ava Cadell, Ph.D., your husband’s worst fear will most likely be that your child will replace them in your life. It is important to be communicative and on the same page with your spouse or significant other.
While you should not feel pressured to make the decision based only on how your husband feels, it should be a mutually decided event. You should talk to him about any uncomfortableness you experience or any reservations you may have.
Also, don’t forget to be affectionate with one another. It doesn’t have to involve sex to remain close with one another. Snuggles, hugs, and kisses can go a long way right now. Keeping the passion alive doesn’t have to include intercourse until you are ready.
“Kissing and hugging are mandatory,” Ava Cadell assures, “If you kiss passionately a few times a day, I guarantee that will keep the juices flowing between you.”
Oral sex can be a great compromise between the two of you if you are willing to do that. It’s highly unlikely your husband will complain!
In any regard, remember to pace yourself. You have a lot on your plate. New babies require near-constant attention, cutting into the time you could be spending with one another. You’re going to be juggling a lot at once.
Once your doctor gives you the thumbs up, that is when the decision falls in your hands. While it may feel like it will be forever, you may be surprised how quickly you can change your mind.
